theres like 3 things i’m certain of at this stage of my life.
- i prefer to be in absolute solitude no matter the circumstances
- i smoke weed to fill an empty void but when i’m high the void seems to expand and,
- i’ve never wanted my life to end more then i do right now
how extremely teen angst of me.
everyone says the 20’s is when your life starts and blah blah blah. that’s usually accompanied by the long stories about how amazing their 20’s are. i sit through them and smile, nod my head, laugh. pretend that I’m enjoying it.
the dreams that used to float in my head as a very eager 16 year old have slowly vanished. my excitement for things to come and my general happiness for life has dissipated.
I’m nearing the age of 20 and the only thoughts circling around my mind is dying.
fuck me, i even groaned at that. i’ve tried to speak to people about whatever the hell i’m feeling but i always just get the same kind of responses.
my father says i’m a worthless leech.
my mother thinks i’m an ungrateful brat.
all the other adults in my life think it’s just a phase. and that i’ll get over it soon. some even go further and tell me that it gets better.
‘okay, boomer’ could’ve been my response to any of those but unfortunately, these days i don’t even have the energy to respond.
i just sit and smile, nod my head, laugh. pretend i’m enjoying it…
writing by anon 